Living the dream...defining the dream and living it - April 11, 2011

"[Spring] is in the air, everytime I look around." (by John Paul Young)

Spring feels like it is finally here in Toronto, tdot, El Toro and I'm bound and determined to enjoy it. The winter blues or blahs should be melted away with the spring sunshine the way the sun has melted leftovers of winter-snow! As the gentle rains falls and washes away the dirt and trash left by mounds and heaps of what was once clean, white snow, so should the spirit of Spring and Easter wash away whatever dregs and leftovers need to be washed away from your spirit and soul.

Every morning I am greeted by the sweet sounds of Machel Montano's "Advantage" as that is the first song on the soca CD I bought myself at Maracas Bay a few weeks ago. Was it only a few weeks ago (a month and 1 day today I returned) that I was basking in the sunshine of a Trini Wednesday after an adventurous and whirlwind Carnival? Read more about my adventures during Carnival in my travel blog - Tastes, Travels and Thoughts by MLG The energy of that vacation adventure still motivates me to wake up in the morning, find joy in every moment and discover my passion.

Taking advantage of the stage or life as you know it is a mantra I have to share. It is time to take advantage of every G0d-given moment, talent and door that beckons. Time to take advantage of life. I hear Machel's music and though it is meant for dancing and wining and enjoying, I can't help but read into it. Just like Kes the Band's Million Dollars. I may not have won a million bucks or even $10, (I, like the rest of you, have to work hard for my money) but I feel like I'm worth a million. Beautiful! How can you resist being inspired?

"And I feel like, I just won a million dollars!" What a feeling! If we could capture this feeling and bottle it, it would be worth just that. Every time I go away to a foreign country or back home to Trinidad, I enjoy myself so much and I am uplifted I feel like I am taken away to another plane of existence where anything is possible. Barbados, Las Vegas, Trinidad, England, France...every place I've been to has inspired me to be more, to do more. Seeing how other people live in another part of this city, my country or the world opens your eyes to the other, the possible and the potential.

"This year I moving fearless." Are you? Am I? There is so much in life I want to do, say, write and all before things change, buckets are kicked or I change my mind. Fearlessly. I am encouraged by these experiences to be fearless in my approach to the dream. Dreaming without fear and living the dream as best I can, bravely. What is the dream? Only God and I know and I endeavour to find out if His dream and mine are the same.

I encourage you to set about dreaming, to try and figure out what you are meant to be doing on this planet or at least to daydream about what you would like to do on this planet. It is an exercise but it is totally worth it. I dreamed of playing big people mas in Trinidad and have been saying I would go for years (literally, I've been fantasizing about this since 2005). And I did it! Finally! I felt good, looked good and I must say having a goal or dream helped me get healthy and fit. I will continue to eat healthy, do Socacize boot camps, go to the gym and train with my trainer because Rio's Carnival is calling my name!

Savouring food as life is savoured - February 12, 2011

An adventure in eating was my experience of the last little while. Not only have I been on my own cooking-healthy-food bend but I've also enjoyed my brand of healthy at really nice restaurants for @LiciousTO Winterlicious in Toronto. Each meal brings me closer to a friend or friends and reminds me of my reason for being. My reason for being is to share my joy of life (joie de vie) with everyone!

My adventure with gluten-freeness and dairy-freeness began in October 2010. I've been cooking sweet potatoe fries, rice pastas, brown rice everything and rice-flour pancakes for months and tweeting about it. I've rediscovered my culinary skills and am enjoying it immensely.

I really wanted to try Winterlicious this year but of course I was worried about whether or not I would find food I could eat. This nice article helped - http://www.torontolife.com/daily/daily-dish/de-licious/2010/12/17/the-winterlicious-2011-menus-are-out-so-lets-compare-them-to-previous-years/ I found menus I really appreciated at Eight Wine Bar with Josephine and Ida, Trevor's Kitchen with Emily, Eddy Levesque's Kitchen with Adam and Southern Accent with Adam. My reviews follow. The best part of Winterlicious this year was being exposed to amazing restaurants in Toronto that I would never have found otherwise.

• Trevor's Kitchen is very nice, upscale and downtown-like on Wellington East. I would definitely do dinner there, Emily and I enjoyed a long lunch. The service was amazing and the food was delectable. I really enjoyed the cotton-candy that came with the bill. Lucious!
• Eight Wine Bar is stylish and located in the Metropolitan Hotel on Colborne Street. I loved the flourless chocolate cake for dessert--it was light and fluffy and the dark chocolate sauce was d'lish! I've got to try their Friday night $1 an ounce wines. I was jealous of Ida and Josephine's steak choice but red meat I've discovered is not my best-friend :(
• Southern Accent in the Annex was a cajun treat with Adam. Cajun-Creole-Soul was their slogan and so it felt. The ambience was amazing. Adam and I even booked their cute little private cubbies because it was so cute and I was feeling the effect of the southern bourbon because I don't yet have a date for my reservation. Jambalaya was gold!
• Edward (Eddy) Levesque's Kitchen for a late lunch with Adam. It wasn't exactly winterlicious but it was damned good. Potatoe latkes with smoked salmon, umm good. No dessert here as it was only lunch. Very nice decor, all fancy and what-not. I would probably go back for dinner sometime.

I missed Grappa Ristorante for dinner with Sebastian due to a cold but there's always Summerlicious! As I write this, Valentine's Day looms, but because I've had such good times with friends I am not bereft of love and loving. I've had enough love to last me for a while. I'll probably groan about being single in the spring but for now, I'm happy, content and loving this life.

Going out for Winterlicious taught me a couple of things - there's so much to discover in Toronto, you need only give yourself the time and the freedom, and there's so much conversation to have with friends that it's all a good reason for living.

Good food, great friends, excllent times!

It's a new day, it's a New Year and I'm ready - January 5, 2011

As it is a new year, and I'm getting used to writing 2011 instead of 2010, now is the right time for a blog about the newness of life. I've always taken the opportunity of any new season (New Year's, Spring, Fall, mornings, dawn) as a good time to evaluate my life, my self and my direction. Everyone else is talking about resolutions and its almost scary the amount of pressure there is to make or have a resolution and then even more pressure to keep it. I for one am tired of putting so much pressure on my New Year's that it becomes more of a pressure cooker with no release than a fire-cracker with a bang. I prefer starting off my New Year's with a BANG! and no pressure, just living, living right.


The way I started off the New Year 2011 was very, very good this year. My ego was stroked on the dancefloor at Empire Lounge as the ladies and I went out to celebrate the New Year's with a bunch of good-looking strangers much younger than us. I found the party on Toronto-Lime.com and the party flyer said 21+ but how was I to know they were being literal? The crowd was 21-25 years of age on average, which was fine. I was approached by a man and a boy in their early thirties (31 and 30 respectively and separately). I have to admit that being in my mid-thirties I was flattered by their attention. I take it as a compliment, that I looked good, that I moved well enough to attract their attention.


Were these the hotties I've been drooling over and daydreaming about? Not exactly, but I'm not going to spurn their attentions like most women simply because they are not my Mr. Right or Mr. Right-Now. One guy asked me for the kiss at midnight, even though it was half-past! Imagine my surprise! At these moments, I giggle and laugh. I gave him a kiss on the cheek as I was neither that drunk, nor that easy. These days I am more impressed by their daring than chagrined. A good night was my experience and it was fun.


Being single at Christmas and New Years (read this interesting blog on the topic) is a different type of experience than being in a relationship. I've done both now and I must admit that being single is way more fun. For Christmas I enjoyed my time with family and friends. As a single woman in downtown Toronto and an excellent host, I had one party and two dinner parties at my place--the highlight and joy of my Christmas season. I enjoyed time with my sister and her family and played with my nieces Kaelyn and Keyanna. For New Year's I went out with the ladies (Ingrid and Jeannelle).

As a single woman on New Year's, you have your choice of partners to dance with and people who want to kiss you. But there is nothing like the independence of going home on your own, to your own place, to sleep in your own bed, on your own. I'm comfortable with that, for now. There will come a time when he and I are together (by the Grace and Will of God) and I'll have someone to come home to who can come home to me, but in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy living single.


A girlfriend asked me on New Year's Day (or the day after) if I had made any resolutions. No, I have not made any "New Year's Resolutions", but I have in the past few months resolved to do things differently and better in my life. In my last blog "Christmas is coming and I ain't ready yet", I talked about the potential my life offers. I look at the position I am in now as a gift. I have the gift of my time, talent and money to spend in unselfish and giving ways either with my family, friends or my community. I have resolved to do so in the next year. I am enjoying all this free-time immensely but I do see there is room and space in my life for service to my fellow-man, -woman and -child.


I have long resolved to get healthy and fit. For 2011, I suppose I could change my resolve to being healthy and fit since I'm already there and can only get better. I've spend the past three months abstaining from alcohol for weeks at a time (goodness gracious, only you know how hard that has been!), eating the right foods and avoiding sugar, salt-if its not sea salt, all-gluten containing food and dairy products, eating all manner of green leafy vegetable, including those veggies I cannot pronounce properly - kale, chard and leeks! Yes, eek! Leeks!


I'm seeing results and I'm loving living healthy and clean (if only for three weeks at a time) so I'm not going to stop what I'm doing and start a new revolution (note: resolution with a v is revolution, interesting, hmmm). Why? Shouldn't I more simply and easily for me, continue doing what I'm doing and augment it so I'm doing it better? A fitness expert I know personally, Kevin Majchrzak at Wynn Fitness suggested this in his last note to gym-rats, "Be consistent! Don't expect any shortcuts to fitness. Make sensible, long-term fitness changes so you can enjoy the benefits of fitness for a lifetime."


I resolve to walk more, talk more (or less as necessary), listen more, love more and learn more. I know I can even share more and be there more. And Iknow that little by little, small changes will make a big difference in my life and by the end of 2011, I'll be the hottie that my love-interests are drooling over! Not that that is my only aim in life but it sure is nice!

Christmas is coming and I ain't ready yet! - November 24, 2010

It's that time of year again, Christmas-time. And with it comes all the trappings and wrappings of the holiday season. It's an end of year festival with gift-giving and sharing as the main focus whether with time or money, it is about the gift.

This Christmas season catches me again unprepared. All the things I thought I would get done before another Christmas comes remain, undone. Yet, I'm excited and elated to be able to celebrate another one. My Christmas season started with the Toronto Santa Claus Parade which I shared with Mom, Dad and my beautiful niece, Kaelyn. Kaelyn made it so special! This was the third year we (Mom and I) took Kaelyn to the parade. The first year, she was one and a half and we missed it by 30 mins so saw the windows at The Bay instead. Last year, her Ma and Dad came and that was fun also with prego-Mel. This year, a 3 and a 1/2 year old Kaelyn took in the parade, made friends and had a good time. Never mind that Santa came late or there were big gaps and a lack of music, Kaelyn enjoyed every moment and every pause, she loved the bands and ran with all the other girls and boys between floats. Sooo much fun!

Later that night, we all hung out and got warm at Mel's place browsing through Christmas flyers as is tradition, browsing through flyers anyways. There was a piece of jewellry that caught my eye, a multi-coloured, multi-jewelled ring. Cosquell as they would say in French patois. My sister says it's a family or heritage ring, 'you should work on the family thing and then maybe get the ring'. True dat! Perhaps that is just the motivation I need to get off my duff and actively seek out a life-partner? I have thus far enjoyed a very social and active lifestyle without the commitment of a partner or companion. The promise of a steady companion, besides my cat, has not been enough to spur me on to movement in that area. Maybe now, I'll be a little bit more committed to the whole commitment thing. I jest but then I do not jest. I definitely want that ring!

I had an interesting experience with commitement of a different sort in the last two weeks. In the throes of ecstasy, it had to be the euphoria of shopping, at the National Women's Show a couple of weeks ago, I signed up for a 3-year contract with Rogers. Imagine that! I, who moved slowly from Bell to Solo Mobile to Koodo over five or six years, signed up for real! I was lured by a sleek Sony Ericsson Xperia phone in white with touch-screen functionality and the coolest games and downloads. I was in love with my new phone! I'm not that tech-savy so it was all new, fresh and over-whelming for me. It took me 7 days to realize what I had done.

After a long-period of non-commital cell-phone relationships, I ran into a long-term relationship without seriously considering the ramifications. The flexibility and variety that my lifestyle currently affords would have been drastically altered. I have dreams of living abroad in the near future, France, Europe, Barbados, the Caribbean, and being tied to this contract would have been the same strength of tie as if I had a mortgage on a house or condo, which I do not as yet. At times, I envy those home-owners and family-guys and gals with their 3-bedrooms and cars in garages, but at the same time I appreciate the freedom being single and unencumbered affords. I come and go as I please and I'm untied. Rolling stone and what not, as they say.

I must say I suffered from buyer's remorse and did what I had to get out of it. I must admit to feeling stifled and suffocated at the prospect that I would be tied up for 3 years and my dreams and plans to travel the world knotted. The nice people at Rogers (@RogersElise) helped me out and now I can breathe. The experience made me think about commitment in the modern age and why and how it fares among the options of not-committing that abound in our modern society. Why commit to a cell phone plan when Koodo, Fido, Virgin and the new ones, PublicMobile and Chatr, offer decent options without the long-term contract? What are the benefits to committing? I ask this question of myself and of you a different way: why commit to one person when you can date all kinds of nice people without the long-term contract? What are the benefits of commiting?

It's nice to know with Rogers, or Bell or Telus have your back in a contract if your phone fails or breaks or something bad happens. I know people like Mitz or Adam (@atorboy85) who have committed to a company like Rogers for what seem like eons, (Mitz has been with Rogers since the Motorolla flip handset as seen in this old commercial). They get first dibs on new phones, a reliable company and the confidence that they are building a relationship. I know because I've asked what happens if my Koodo phone falls or breaks, I've found out I am SOL. Shucks!

Suffice it to say, I am not ready for Christmas. Yes, I'm planning all kinds of social events and parties and getting in the mood for it. I at least know how I'd like to decorate or what kind of decorations I'd like to put up. But I have no list for others or myself, I still need to paint to bring in the season with a fresh, clean palette. I have not really worked on the family thing, as yet. They say the holidays tend to be depressing, especially for single people, I can only imagine. I may chose to be a single woman but I don't spend my days or nights alone. Instead of being depressed that I haven't a partner (yet) or little ones to put presents under the tree (yet), I use this gift of freedom to see my friends, host parties for them, make myself available to family as needed, and be the best Nenny Mur I can be to my nieces. Let's just say that this time, I'm getting ready. Having had a touch of the commitment thing and all the ramifications it brings, I'm at the least, looking at it more seriously. I encourage you to get your house (the proverbial house, or in Christendom, the temple that is your body) ready for Christmas and the end-of-year celebrations.

Giving thanks each day for every little thing - October 16, 2010

I'm giving thanks each and every day for each and every little thing in my life. Took a cab to a radio interview at ProudFM last Wednesday. It was a great interview with a great host, Mike Chalut, and I quite enjoyed that experience and I give thanks for that aspect of my job. I was struck more so by the cab driver who I met on my way there. He was nicely dressed in a sharp, black leather jacket and dress pants. I can only imagine his shoes were jet black and shiny. His cab was clean and very tidy. He said to me when I asked how he was doing, "I'm alive and I'm thankful."

I just meant to engage in small talk the way I always do but this time I was blessed with a sermon on giving thanks for waking up in the morning, being able to breathe, having legs to walk with and having something to occupy my time. We didn't talk about jobs, we talked about vacations as if your j-o-b is a vacation you are enjoying. And it made sense too! Why do a j-o-b if you are not enjoying it as you would your vacation. Think abou t it, we work hard year-round to spend copious amounts of dollars on another home in another country to get away from our regular home in our country of residence. Yet, we gripe and complain about the cost of living in our home and in this country. Wow, what a revelation! I'm encouraged to think about life the way this man described it to me, to go to my job each day with the same enthusiasm I appreciated New York City or Barbados.

I had all of Thanksgiving Weekend to appreciate my family and friends and the life I'm living and I did. I sent a mass text to all I care about. (I still send mass texts because you all are not following me on twitter!) And I said the words to my family and did those actions to show I'm thankful to have them in my life -- I shared with them my time, my presence and my personality. I feel like I did thanksgiving for the big picture things in my life, overall and general: good health, great work/vacation, good family and friends. But I didn't, until this man reminded me, give thanks for all those little things in life like waking up to see the sun rise, breathing in life each morning, planting my feet on the ground to enjoy another day. There was a time when I really focussed on 'stopping to smell the roses'. Somehow I have forgotten in the last few weeks or even months to appreciate all those little things. When I sing the song "I Believe" I am reminded of all the little things. Sing it for yourself and you'll agree it is a beautiful song.

I am thankful that Ma and I still get to spend time together. Even though I was recovering from a very bad cold, I still made it out in the cool night air to see Scotiabank's Nuit Blanche at the Distillery District. I wish I could have done more but physical limitations and such. Thankful that I got to see some of it with Ma. Even though I was sad my friend Barb had to return to the United States, I'm very thankful I got to know her over the last two years. I'm thankful for all the friends I have made and continue to keep close. Life may get busy, but now I'm counting on the little things like this blog, the pokes on facebook and short emails or texts to keep building my family- and friend-ships.

What are you thankful for? The past Thanksgiving weekend gives us all time to pause and contemplate this question and hopefully verbalize for ourselves those things in life (or all of it) that we are thankful for and can appreciate. I read a blog by Trey Anthony with reflections close to this topic. It was about being happy and content with a simple life or with the simple things in life.

The last thing the man in the cab left me with was something I try to do each day when I step out of my house. I think of it in these terms, "living each day as if it was your last", but he explained it thusly, "Take your clothes for instance, you should wear them and enjoy wearing them, no matter how much or how little they cost. What are you saving them for? Wear them now as they were meant for you or else what will you do when you die, pass them on?" Just like our clothes, which we should wear everyday because saving stuff like that for a rainy day that never comes is silly, so should we wear our smiles on our faces, our hearts on our sleeves and our thanks for a good life every minute of every day. I say wear your Sunday best on Saturdays because you just never know.

I had never thought - but I did, didn't I? - September 13, 2010

I had never thought I'd be parading down Eastern Parkway in a skimpy, white, bathsuit, with a sequined skirt and a giant exotic headpiece called a Carnival costume. But there I was just four days after my birthday, dancing to soca music on the street and allowing my half-naked self to be photographed by strangers and tourists. Well, I wasn't really half-naked, I felt really very comfortable in my own skin. I realized I really am beautiful and also my workouts at the gym and healthy eating are paying off! I look fabulous. I looked so fabulous that day that I took a picture on my cellphone so I could send it to a few friends and make some boyfriends jealous. I'm loving ME right now!

My present moment is exhilarating and everyday I am touched by how precious my life is. Even though I was surprised that a spontaneous moment had me playin' mas', it was on my list of things to do. So I was not really surprised that I was marching down the street to new soca music, it was just like I imagined. One day, I hope to play mas' in every Carnival in every corner of the world. It began again (after a 22 and 17 year hiatus) with Brooklyn's Carnival. I say a line in one of my poems, "Hold on to your dreams, make them come true. Live it, love it, believe it!" I think its true. I've held this dream in my heart for some time, hoping and praying (and doing something about it too!) that one day I'd be fit enough to wear that skimpy outfit and parade. And I did it!

So I say to you, hold on to your dreams and work at it. Make it come true through force of habit. There are no guarantees in life but you can make things happen if you try a little.

I don't know why, but sometimes it takes a momentous occasion or a catastrophic event for us to realize the worth of this life. I implore you to not take this life for granted. Recently, two of my friends have been touched by some calamity. My dear friend, @atorboy85, had a recent heart issue forcing him and I to consider this life. My cousin, ladydigga, faced the death of a friend, another event that causes us to consider who we are, what we are doing and what legacy we will leave behind us. I have always asked myself, well lately now that I am concious, "If I died tomorrow, would I be satisfied with my life?" My answer, most days, is yes, hellz yea! I'm happy with who I am, who I could be, and the life I will eventually leave behind.

Such that, I am happy to report that I had an excellent summer and enjoyed quality time with many friends and family. Before Brooklyn's Carnival, I enjoyed a great night with Adam and Chris at Havana Cultura and at Leslieville. (See August 27 blog) Ma and I took my baby niece Kaelyn to Buskerfest. It was joyous watching her enjoy the clowns and the acrobats, it was amazing watching life through a child's eye. My summer has been very good, and I thank God that I have lived to experience it.

Love this spanish flavour - blogging in Tdot - August 27, 2010

As I write this blog, I'm sitting in a new tea shop in my neighbourhood, Steeped and Infused. Seems like part of the gentrification process. It's a nice place, not the usual here but very welcome. I walked to work this morning and thought of that, not being the usual but welcome.

I think I have a usual life, nice place to live, good job, friends and such. It may seem humdrum but I better this bland existence with spicy and savoury things and adventures. My 9-5 may be scripted and somewhat controlled, if it is, my after-work life is just the opposite. Spicy and caliente! I long for my after-life to be my everyday but until that time, I enjoy them both the same. Sometimes, I wonder if I don't prefer my life a little bland with some seasonings to taste.

I ask you how you like yours. If you don't like how it tastes, then you should shake things up a bit with a little spice or flavour or better yet and still, try a new recipe.

Last weekend, I got up to some spicy things. I went with my best friend to Leslieville, Queen East, and tried the flavour of "The Comrade" before moving on to "Rasputin". "Comrade was a very nice lounge with comfy couches and a flavour of the Asian communist aesthetic, but cool. Rasputin was as it sounds, Russian with a punchy flavour. Certainly, the dry martinis straight up did nothing to dispel that particular taste. But we liked it and continued enjoying that flavour.

The next night we enjoyed the spicy latin flavours of Havana Cultura on Queen West, west Queen West. The taste of that neighbourhood was decidely different and though it was about Havana and I expected more latin flavour in the men there, it was not as my imaginary recipe envision. But good, nonetheless. I did get a flavour for the culture of Cuba, especially at Julie's Cuban where the mariachi man and the wonderful singer serenaded us and allowed us to join in in song while we munched on avocado mango salad and fried plantains. "Mucho a beso". Even if I didn' t understand the whole song, I got that bit. I highly recommend anyone visiting the Tdot dine at Julie's. It is a quaint and remarkable restaurant on Ossington. We finished up Havana Cultura club hopping. I must admit my age showed by the end as my two young male companions watched me sleep in the middle of the club, at least I was in a comfy chair so had some excuse.

This weekend, I'm celebrating my birthday early with friends, checking out Buskerfest at St. Lawrence Market, the LiveGreen Festival at Dundas Yonge Square and anything else that comes my way. I'll let you know how the recipe for this weekend turns out.